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If you’re like me, you’ve heard the phrase “If the white kids are getting A+, you need to get an A++”
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Or
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“Don’t speak Patois, it will limit your chances in life”
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Or
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“Keep your mouth shut”
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These calls to outperform, small up yourself, or accept racial microaggressions as a normal part of the everyday experience, have had a significantly negative impact on our sense of self and overall emotional and mental well being. No doubt, most of our parents were well intentioned and working with the tools they had available to them at the time, but it’s now 2019, and the tools at our disposal are almost limitless.
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Our parents actions, as well intentioned as they were, were all in service of their hopes for Equality and/or Parity with white people. But Parity is a myth, and time, experience, research and Mary Jackson have taught us that systems of dominance are ever changing and reaching that elusive finish line comes at a steep price.
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So what do we do?
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As parents, caregivers, mentors, and elders, we need to encourage our young people to be the best and fullest version of themselves. Help them set goals that are aligned with African Centred values around community, self determination, respect for elders, etc - the 7 Principles of Kwanzaa is a great place to start. Teach them how to love and pour into themselves. Offer praise and constructive feedback and Be Present to support them in their life’s journey.